This hospital, Cygnet New Dawn, has been a horrible experience to me. I've been restrained and injected more times in a week than I'd ever been in my life.
There's a lot of blame thrown around, staff not doing what they're meant to, patients not trying hard enough.
I've been assaulted during restraint, having been strangled to pull me off the floor. They dislocated my shoulder that same restraint and I was left so weak and in agony I could barely bathe myself.
When I made a formal complaint about this, the result was that I was never injured, no one shouted at me and that they did nothing wrong, it was all in my mind.
There aren't the measures in place to protect patients like we're assured by the government or health services. Advocacy can only talk for me, the CQC visited and ignored my disclosures about the care here. The hospital management almost definitely has a bias towards me, seeing me as a difficult/unpleasant patient. When I showed her the bruising on my legs currently she said it was to be expected and they ought to send me to a secure service.
(I wasn't even struggling when the bruises occurred otherwise they'd be on my arms too. I was sat calmly but upset, but very distressed when a man tossed me over and pulled out my arse for them to inject) as if I were just a worthless prostitute or pin cushion.
I've been called selfish, lazy, fat, told my hair is ugly, told it's all my fault I'm getting no better here. All manner of things. I've been pushed to the floor, told they wouldn't go near me in case I killed them (as if).
It's gotten to the point where I have involved every possible service to get them to remove me from this placement. Short of physically harming someone else there's no way out.
The police are going to speak to me on Saturday. I hope they believe me, otherwise I'm done. I've already given up doing anything here for fear of bothering anyone.
I gave up an awful lot to come here and I'm just hated. I have no regular support. They took my phone mid restraint and took 4 days to allow me to prove myself innocent and now I'm still having my right to family life breached whilst we go into the third week where I'm only allowed restricted access to my phone.
I've stopped engaging with any of them because I'm not believed. I'm only on 1:1 so they don't have another death here. It's been 3 months and they refuse to change anything. 3 months since I even saw the outside of the hospital.
I can't wait to leave, or die, whichever comes first.
We are the voiceless because we're 'mental' no one believes us. They can do whatever they like to me because I'm on section so I may as well be in prison for all the freedoms I have.
Voiceless and broken.
No comments:
Post a Comment